love, Open letter, Uncategorized

An Open letter for my Mr. Almost 

#openLetter


The best part was not always those sweet words you’ve said, but the times we argue about little things and laugh after realizing that we both have a point. I remember one day we almost shout while arguing inside the mall because of just a single message that I didn’t receive, everyone was starring at us with curiosity and then you said “oh sorry na” when you saw me already pissed as I rolled my eyes. I laughed at you because I didn’t expect you to give up an argument with me, I said “alas! I already won an argument”. But winning an argument with you was nothing compared on losing you. Sadly, it happened; sadly you didn’t stay.
I stare at our conversation wondering why did you leave? How did I lose you? Is it my fault? Or am I just not enough?

I stare at our conversation for the past few hours, days and weeks searching for something wrong , searching for reason why, searching for answers. But I see nothing but sweet messages of yours.

I stare at our conversation without realizing that I’m just digging another hole inside my heart, this hole.. this empty hole, waiting for you to fill it in. And yes I’m still waiting. . .
Days, weeks, months have passed and I didn’t realized that it was this easy, it was this easy for you to forget about me, about us. But maybe there really is no us, maybe that word “us” was just a short term for “fantasy” , yes! Fantasy. Fantasy that exist only in my head down to my heart. Fantasy that eats me everytime I think of you.
But no, it’s not your fault; it’s mine. I’m sorry for I fell inlove with your “good mornings” and “good nights”, I’m sorry for I even fell for the times we spend together. I’m sorry because I feel something for I thought that there really is. I’m sorry , I really do.
Today, I finally accept things. Did I really? I don’t know? But I have to! What else should I do? Life must go on. I will no longer wait for closures, for I already end this fantasy inside. Go on! Have a life now, be happy for your choices, and so will I. I will no longer stalk your profile, will no longer think nor wait.

But the best memories of you and me will always remain.
If I can go back in time, I’ll go back to that argument, I’ll go back and let you win, for I can endure losing a single argument than losing you.
But goodbye for now, and if it is God’s plan. Our paths surely! Will crossed again,just like what happened before. And if that time comes, for the third time I will still let you in. Good bye for now, good bye my almost lover, Goodbye my hopeless dream.
— An Open Letter for my Mr. Almost

Uncategorized

Thursday, April 6th

Eto ako, sa ika tatlong araw mula nung napagdesisyonan kong itigil na ang katangahang ito. Pilit kong binabaling ang atensyon sa mga bagay na dating nagpapasaya saakin nung hindi kapa dumadating sa buhay ko. 

Eto ako, na unti unting binubuo ang pundasyong bumuwag ng dahil sa pagmamahal sayo. Unti unting itinatayo ang pader na maaaring pumagitan sa akin at sayo. 

Ngunit ayan ka, 

Ayan ka nanaman nagpaparamdam na tila ba’y sinusubok ang tibay ng pader na aking itinayo. Pumapasok sa buhay ko na parang isang malakas na bagyo. Na para bang alam na alam mo kung kailan gagambalain ang proseso kong paglimot sayo.

Nawala lang lahat, nawala lang lahat ang pader na ilang oras, araw at segundo kong pinaghirapang itayo, ang pader na kahit masakit ay pilit kong binubuo upang hindi na ako mapalapit sayo

Nawala na ang lahat

Wala

Dahil lang sa isang text message mong 

“Goodnight 🐷”

Eto nanaman ako, balik sa simula

Uncategorized

When people don’t care about how others would feel. When the only thing that matter is the face on their feed. When everyone is unsure and the world has no cure. When all gives less, and take all of what’s rest. When the world is uncertain and everyone closed their curtain.

When everything on the desk is nothing but a mess and life thrown things they called test

When life is a big question and everyone is untrue

I will be the only sure thing in this world full of uncertainties 

I will cut all doubts and boundaries 

I will love like there is no tomorrow 

I will never be afraid in pain and in sorrow.

I will never regret the things I’ve said and done for love

For I will regret more if I didn’t 

It doesn’t matter if it will work or not, doesn’t matter how it ends. Atleast for once you’ve experienced, how to love someone like there is no end.

Uncategorized

Sa dulo ng walang Hanggang Closure

“Ito ay alay ko sa mga taong walang ibang alam gawin kundi humingi ng Closure sa isang relasyong dapat’y hindi na Sinimulan”

Hindi ka ba nagtataka?

Nagtataka kung bakit,

Kung paanong tayo’y nandito na sa dulo gayong wala namang tayong simula?

Kung paanong tayo’y nasa wakas na ng storya nang hindi man lang natin kilala ang may akda?

ang may akda

Sino ba ang nagsimula?

Sino ba ang may pakana?

Paano ba nagumpisa, bakit nasa dulo na ang pahina?

Paano ba tatapusin ang isang bagay gayong hindi mo naman alam kung saan ito nagsimula, O wala ka namang ideya kung ito nga ba ay nasimulan ba?

Yung ang tanging pinanghahawakan mo lang ay ang kanyang mga kataga

katagang “Dito! Dito lang tayo sa gitna,

wag mong alalahanin ang dulo  at kung saan ba dapat magsimula

Dito sa gitna

Sa gitna kung saan ikaw at ako lang ang nakakaalala

Dito, Dito kung saan ang simula ay hindi mahalaga

At ang dulo ay malayo pa

Dito sa gitna

Sa pagitan ng ako’y sayo at akin ka”

Mga matatamis na salitang sayo mismo nagmula

ako’y unti unting naniwala

nauto at nagpaka tanga!

Dito

Dito ako nakatayo

ngunit asan ka?

hinanap kita

Sa pagtingin ko sa kawalan

at pagtungtong sa aking kinatatayuan

ngayon ko lang napuna

na nandito ako, OO Nandito ako

hindi sa gitnang ipinangako mong datapwat’y walang simula ay wala din itong dulo

Hindi!

Hindi sa gitnang inaasahan ko

Nandito ako, nandito sa ereng pinagiwanan mo

Ngayon alam ko na

bagamat ay nagpakatanga

Maaari bang marinig ang huli mong salita?

Nais ko lamang malaman kung ako’y minahal mo rin ba?

Nais ko lamang marinig ang sagot sa tanong na kung “pwede pa?”

Dahil sa likod ng mga Talatang pilit kong tinatapos

Sa likod ng Pahinang pilit kong nilalamukos

Sa likod ng galit na pilit kong niyayapos

Ay ang larong ito na kailanma’y hindi ko nais magtapos

food and travel, Uncategorized

Thailand in PH!

The Calauan island escapade

A good place to celebrate any occasion, mapa birthday, anniversary, monthsary, weeksary, kahit daysary pa! A complete package of good food, entertainment, attraction and nature.

Good food— this place is under Barrio Fiesta so the food was authentically delicious. The sinampalukang Manok was cooked inside the kawayan and transfer it from kawayan to bowl right in front of us, it costs 300 something for a big bowl of seven cuts chicken. Then the adobong kangkong, urgh! Panalo! That was out favorite! Not your typical adobong kangkong, this one is sooooo malasa and garlicky,then may chunks pa of lechong kawali. Next is the inihaw na tilapia which is I think is mahal since it costs 200+ for 2pcs tilapia, nothing special with the taste just your typical inihaw na tilapia. Lastly, the rice was serve in a cute small kaldero ng kanin hahahah nakakabitin lang since dumating kaming gutom.

Entertainment— the place is packed with entertainment, there’s these singing gentlemen that will serenade you while you were eating, mascots of mickey mouse, donald duck and gooffy, jogglers and unicyclers (feels like we’re on a carnival themed fiesta) the “mahahabang tao” (I don’t know what to call them haha) musicians, dancers and many more. The whole band was marching in the whole place to entertain everyone, Attraction and Nature— you’ll surely enjoy the breathtaking thai inspired theme of Isdaan floating restaurant, this place was full of buddha replicas and statues. It was like a theme park with giant statues of buddha (there are three huge buddhas Red, White and Gold) giant statues of monkey, Elephants and other animals. The place was a Man-made floating restaurants that was connected with kawayan bridges. You can choose kung saan kang kubo, either sa taas with the giant buddhas to enjoy the whole view below or sa baba with the rivers, entertainers and more.

Plus!!— there’s this TACSIYAPO wall where you can throw and break things like plates, mugs, wall clock and even T.V.!! It’s a good way to release stress, heartaches etc. after here you can go straight to Calamba Laguna. (Dikit dikit ang hot springs don hehe)

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Uncategorized

My 2017 Cotract to life

Today, as I decided to share every part of me in this world, I solemnly swear to God, to my friends and family, and most especially to myself that from now on I will try my very best to live this life to the fullest! To live this life with smiles, to get rid of anger and envy but replace it with love, hope and laughter. For I promise to fill this year with colors. Join me as I fulfill those promises and continue making adventures, together  let us all live our life to its highest limit!

“In the end we only regret the chances we didn’t take”