The best part was not always those sweet words you’ve said, but the times we argue about little things and laugh after realizing that we both have a point. I remember one day we almost shout while arguing inside the mall because of just a single message that I didn’t receive, everyone was starring at us with curiosity and then you said “oh sorry na” when you saw me already pissed as I rolled my eyes. I laughed at you because I didn’t expect you to give up an argument with me, I said “alas! I already won an argument”. But winning an argument with you was nothing compared on losing you. Sadly, it happened; sadly you didn’t stay.
I stare at our conversation wondering why did you leave? How did I lose you? Is it my fault? Or am I just not enough?
I stare at our conversation for the past few hours, days and weeks searching for something wrong , searching for reason why, searching for answers. But I see nothing but sweet messages of yours.
I stare at our conversation without realizing that I’m just digging another hole inside my heart, this hole.. this empty hole, waiting for you to fill it in. And yes I’m still waiting. . .
Days, weeks, months have passed and I didn’t realized that it was this easy, it was this easy for you to forget about me, about us. But maybe there really is no us, maybe that word “us” was just a short term for “fantasy” , yes! Fantasy. Fantasy that exist only in my head down to my heart. Fantasy that eats me everytime I think of you.
But no, it’s not your fault; it’s mine. I’m sorry for I fell inlove with your “good mornings” and “good nights”, I’m sorry for I even fell for the times we spend together. I’m sorry because I feel something for I thought that there really is. I’m sorry , I really do.
Today, I finally accept things. Did I really? I don’t know? But I have to! What else should I do? Life must go on. I will no longer wait for closures, for I already end this fantasy inside. Go on! Have a life now, be happy for your choices, and so will I. I will no longer stalk your profile, will no longer think nor wait.
But the best memories of you and me will always remain.
If I can go back in time, I’ll go back to that argument, I’ll go back and let you win, for I can endure losing a single argument than losing you.
But goodbye for now, and if it is God’s plan. Our paths surely! Will crossed again,just like what happened before. And if that time comes, for the third time I will still let you in. Good bye for now, good bye my almost lover, Goodbye my hopeless dream.
— An Open Letter for my Mr. Almost